Chloe Diana
by MasenHale
Summary: Clare lives a secret life as Chloe Diana, music superstar. Eli is the boy from her hometown that she has fallen in love with from half a world away. They finally get their chance to meet at one of her shows. M for later chapters! OOC/AU
1. Chapter 1

"Chloe Diana is a complete bombshell. The perfect girl if I had to choose one. That voice, the sandy hair, the body-sorry, I'm getting carried away. Simply put, I love her. Why do you ask?"

"Her new song was just on at work tonight and now I've got it stuck in my head, so I wondered." Clare replied.

Eli eagerly continued, obviously thrilled about the topic. "She's playing a show in my town in a few days and I would have loved to have gone. I never got tickets in time though. The show sold out within 6 minutes, or something."

Clare could feel her heart accelerating. Of course, when she brought it up she was fully aware that Chloe Diana had a show in Toronto this coming Friday. However, she didn't expect Eli to react so positively. Her heart swelled with pride and her cheeks took on a light blush when he called her a complete bombshell-even if it was unknowingly.

Clare had played Toronto the year before but felt that it had been too soon to invite Eli. Maybe this time though, she could put it all on the line. Since then they have recently come to know each other so much better-what with all the late night phone calls, the constant texting and the sporadic skype dates.

AND, in three weeks she would be heading to Europe for the next eighteen months. So, maybe this is the time to give Eli a chance. Alli, who had been relentlessly on her case ever since the Toronto date was posted, would be elated to know that Clare had finally taken a progressive step in her relationship with Eli.

_Come on, Edwards. Woman up! He called you the perfect girl. Just do it!_

"Actually, you know, my dad works with her management team. I'll bet he could find you some tickets."

There, that wasn't a lie. Clare hated having to lie so completely to Eli about certain aspects of her life so she tried to shoot as straight as possible when she could.

Eli's voice raised a decibel at least on the other end of the phone. "You're kidding! Why didn't you tell me that? How did I not know that? Yes! Please! I would love to!"

Clare giggled in relief. "I'll see what I can do." She responded.

"Are you going to be there?" Eli asked.

"So desperate to see me, Goldsworthy. I have to talk to my dad, but I think he could find me a way, too." Clare said.

Just then, Randall walked into the Penthouse suite of the hotel Clare was currently staying in.

"Actually, he's here now. I'll call you back, Eli!" She said as she hung up.

"Daddy, I just invited Eli to the Toronto show!" Clare shouted as she moved out from under the covers to jump up and down on the bed.

Randall, in head to toe black business suit, looked every bit the music industry Manager he was, but the smile on his face was all fatherly.

"Aw, Darling, that's wonderful. About time, too! I'm sure we can find him some space in the VIP booth." He said with a wink.

Randall's eyes then lit up again as he realized, "Maybe now I can see Bullfrog again, soon!"

Eli's father, Bullfrog, and Randall had been childhood best friends. They were almost reunited three years ago when the Goldsworthy's were getting ready to move back to Toronto but just as they were settling in, the Edwards' lives were uprooted by Clare's new stardom. However, it did give way to Eli and Clare's friendship.

Eli was meant to start at Clare's high school, so their fathers had them swap email addresses in the hopes they could set up a coffee date. Unfortunately, the Edwards' moved to New York before the plan could be carried out, but that didn't stop them from keeping in contact over the years.

About a year and a half ago, during a particularly grueling tour through every major city in North America, Clare was desperate for an escape and chatted Eli late one evening without a second thought. On second thought now, it was one of her very finest decisions because she had found a best friend in Eli.

Sure, she couldn't tell him everything about herself but she could tell him the littlest things and he would be happy to hear them. They could sit on the phone and describe their dreams to each other, or discuss books, or the weather for heavens' sake. It didn't matter to Clare one bit as long as she could hear his voice.

Unfortunately, the depth of her feelings for Eli made the prospect of meeting him all the more frightening. So many things could go wrong; he could get upset that she'd been so dishonest with him. He likes the way she looks, he said so himself, but what if that's all he likes about her? What if the fame is too much? What if he likes Chloe and not Clare? Maybe he won't want to deal with the distance? Will he want to talk to her ever again?

This was a conversation Clare had had with herself, her father, Alli and Calvin, her personal security, countless times. Each and every time she was told to take her chance and go for it, as Eli really couldn't be the one to do it. So finally, here she was; going for it. All in.

"I hope that's what it means, Daddy. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, though. He has to meet me, first." Clare said, sheepishly.

Randall walked over to the bed, placed his hands on her forearms and kissed her forehead before saying, "Try not to worry yourself too much, Darling. You're a bigger catch than you think."

Clare smiled up at him and the two got to discussing the details. Once all was settled, Clare took a deep breath and called Eli back.

He answered on the second ring with a smile in his voice.

"There's my favourite girl." He said. "Give me the good news!"

Clare smiled and laid back on the king sized bed, fiddling with the tie on her white terry-cloth hotel robe as she spoke.

"Well, if you like, you can have two VIP tickets and backstage passes to her show this Friday. You know, if you want."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, which was so unusual for Eli that Clare worried that maybe the call had dropped.

"Eli?"

"CLARE, OF COURSE I WANT THE TICKETS, ARE YOU MAD?" Eli joyfully shouted into the phone. He was laughing and hooting in the background which brought on a whole round of laughter for Clare.

Once the laughter had died down, Clare was positively beaming.

"Who will you bring with you?" She asked.

"You, of course!" Eli replied.

Clare smiled over her privilege of knowledge and said, "No, silly. I'll be there on my own. You get to bring someone else!"

Eli made a delighted, "Oh!" sound and said, "Fiona, then. She'll love it."

"Oh, wonderful." Clare said; her voice full of sincerity.

At first she worried that Eli may be interested in Fiona but he always clearly maintains they are nothing but friends, which is fine by Clare.

"So, I'll get to see you, then?" Eli asked. There was a hopefulness in his voice that Clare dare not let her mind overanalyze.

"I wouldn't miss it! I won't be in the VIP box with you, but you'll see me." Clare said.

Eli's voice was filled with wonder as he replied, "Wow. I can't believe I get to see Chloe Diana and meet you all in one day. This is insane. I'm going to go call Fi, but I'll talk to you later, okay? Thank your dad a million for me. Night!"

Clare was pleased that Eli sounded so excited but she couldn't help but note that Chloe came before she did on the list of things that made him happy. She hoped it wouldn't always be that way. She didn't think her heart would be able to take playing second to her own alter ego.

Rather than wallow, Clare called Alli, her hometown best friend and head stylist, to gush over these recent developments and to discuss Friday's outfit.

If Eli wanted a show from Chloe Diana, the least she could do was deliver one.

**T****BC.**

**Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I couldn't wait to post another chapter.**

There was a serious of rapid fire knocks on the master bedroom door that could only belong to Alli.

"Coming!" Clare shouted.

She opened the door to see her petite best friend donning the biggest smile she had ever seen, and holding onto the wrist of poor Adam Torres, who was toting a rolling wardrobe rack.

Immediately, Alli jumped at Clare and grabbed her in a hug.

"Clarebear, I can't believe you did it! I'm so happy for you! You're finally getting what you wanted after a million years!"

"Always one for hyberbole, Bhandari." Adam grumbled from behind her.

Clare released Alli and glanced at Adam who broke out a beautiful smile for her too.

"I'm happy for you too, Edwards. Now that guy will finally realize he's the luckiest dude alive."

Clare smiled back at Adam before turning her eyes to the wardrobe Alli had no doubt forced him to pull into the room. She took in the array of sequins, leather, lace and feathers and was sure that Alli had something up her sleeve.

"Okay, Alli. I need magic here, woman."

The girl clasped her hands together and said, "You're in good hands, Clare. This boy is going to get Chloe Diana's heart-stopping best on Friday."

* * *

Clare strutted into her ensuite bathroom once more to remove the sequined red dressed, Alli's third outfit pick, and slip on the fourth. Everything up to this point had been lovely, and at one point or another on the tour Clare had worn them happily, but for this particular show, she needed something better; something exquisite.

She pulled on the fourth dress, a black leather and lace combination, and knew immediately that it was right. It hugged all of her lovely upper body curves and even showed off a respectable amount of skin underneath the sheer black lace. Then the leather began just above her belly button and fell down into a lovely a-line skirt, ending a few inches above her knee.

She stepped out of the bathroom with a brilliant smile on her face, to be greeted with a similar one from Alli and Adam's dropped jaw.

"Oh my God, Clare, it's perfect! You're perfect!"

She turned to Adam, my other best friend, for his approval.

"He's a _really_ lucky dude, Clare. I mean it. Jesus."

Clare flushed at the compliment and then was taken through the frenzy of deciding footwear, accessories, hair and make-up.

As she lay in bed that evening, in the penthouse suite of a lovely hotel in the middle of downtown God knows where, Clare finally let herself get excited.

She would be meeting Eli in just three days. And three very long days they would be.

* * *

Late Thursday night or very early Friday morning, after a show in Los Angeles, Clare and her whole travelling road show were on a flight into Toronto International Airport.

She could hardly contain her glee. She had been very careful to limit her communication with Eli over the last few days out of fear that he would wonder about how she was getting to the show, and where she was staying and things of the like. However, the lack of communication was simultaneously making the build-up to this evening much greater.

Once all of the members of management, security and the band, as well as the entire crew of make-up artists, hair stylists, light technicians, sound technicians, stage crews, back-up technicians and everyone else it took to put on a Chloe Diana show was off the plane, Clare was headed to her hotel. She liked to personally make sure that everyone was with them, and well looked after, because her job really depended on theirs and she knew she could never do it without them.

On the drive through downtown Toronto, Clare was able to relax for the first time in ages. She was hours away from meeting the boy she so loved, and putting on what she hoped was her best performance in her old home town. Regularly, she would be a pile of nerves but she felt such a blissful calm.

Once she was all checked into the hotel and assured that the crew would arrive shortly, Clare settled into her bed, sent out a good night tweet to the twitterverse and sent off three very important texts.

The first, to Alli to confirm that her outfit was ready and the make-up & hair crew was informed; the second, to Adam to make sure he was all ready to carry out the wonderful surprise she had planned for Eli; and the last, to the man himself, to tell him she would be wearing a black leather dress, with navy blue heels and her hair curled and down.

Her text to Eli ended with, "I think it will be hard for you to miss me" and she couldn't help but smile to herself as she fell asleep.

* * *

A stage hand wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard passes Clare briskly and says, "10 minutes to show time, Chloe!"

She thanks him and turns back to Alli to let her put the final touches on her make-up. There is a team specifically for this but tonight Alli insisted it be her.

"Nervous, Clarebear?"

"More nervous than I've ever been, but it's really exhilarating. My heart must be pumping a mile a minute." Clare replies, thinking it's the most accurate assessment she can give. She is head –to-toe nerves, but she also feels like right now she could take on anything. It's a heavy combination.

Alli's hand stills, hovering above Clare's cheekbone with a make-up brush in hand and says, "Clare, you're going to knock this one out of the park and by the time the show is over, you'll have landed your dream goth boy."

Clare smiled up at her best friend affectionately. "Thanks, Alli."

Alli did a final once over of Clare's outfit again and declared her perfect and stage-ready.

"I'll watch from the right side, and be there if you need me." Alli said. After a quick hug, she ran off into the frenzy of the backstage.

After receiving the five minute call time, Clare gathered up the guys-Adam, Drew, and Jake-who were near the stage staircase.

"Ready, boys?"

In return, Clare was granted three answering smiles and Adam said, "Are _you_ ready, Clare? Big night tonight."

She grabbed one of Adam's free hands and one of Drew's, effectively starting the circle ritual.

When they had clasped hands and closed the circle, Clare looked at Adam and told him that she "was born ready."

As always, Clare started their little band moment with, "At this moment, we are most thankful for all the wonderful people around us,"

Adam continued, "and for the opportunity to do what we love every night,"

Then Drew, "and that we are all healthy, happy and loved"

and Jake finished with, "and we pray this never ever comes to an end."

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**In case you're wondering,**

**Clare, Eli, Alli, Adam: 18  
Jake, Drew, Fiona: 19**

**I do not own Degrassi.**

They stood around together near the mouth of the side stage doing all of their final checks; synchronizing head sets, making sure of microphones, discussing song changes and of course Clare's big change to their set tonight.

Randall made an appearance, as he always does right before show time. He shook hands with all of the boys and wished them luck before turning to Clare.

"Darling, you'll be perfect out there. You always are. I'll be right here afterwards."

He left her with a kiss on the forehead and some nicely diffused nerves.

A stage hand with a headset shuffled the four teenagers to the stage steps, and then motioned for the start of the one minute countdown.

All of the lights on stage and backstage were turned off and the crowd went absolutely crazy.

This one minute before every show is a minute Clare always cherishes. It's her practice to close her eyes and just let her emotions go. Sometimes, this is a minute of pure fear. Oftentimes, it's uncontainable glee and almost always it's awe. Tonight, it feels like a mix of all three with a lovely adrenaline buzz on top.

After the minute is over, Clare goes to the same place every night and performs her heart out. Tonight is no different. When she hears the stage hand start the ten second countdown in her earpiece, she reels in her feelings and lets her inner performer run wild.

Once the minute has passed, Clare-now Chloe-and the band are ushered on stage, still in the dark, so that they are in place for when the lights are turned on again.

Once the lights are on, there is no more hiding. She is Chloe Diana for the entire crowd to see. Tonight, that means even more because she will be Chloe Diana/Clare Edwards for Eli Goldsworthy to finally see.

Before she can let thinking about it alter her mood, the stage is illuminated.

Clare is deafened by the immediate roar of the screaming crowd when they recognize little old her sitting on the edge of the stage, swinging her legs.

"Hi, Toronto." She says with a smile on her voice. The crowd erupts with huge screams in reply.

Clare lets out a series of giggles, something that happens to her often on stage because performing just makes her so cheerful.

As the cheering continues she rises from the edge of the stage to her feet, careful to remain ladylike as she does so. In standing straight up, the whole crowd is able to see her beautiful black dress and the way it falls perfectly on her, the dark blue suede Louboutin heels she wore and her long sandy brown hair curled into lovely tendrils that fell over her shoulders and down her back. She was sure the monitors were focusing on her face so she smiled a toothy grin, highlighted nicely by her light pink lipstick.

"Goodness, I missed you, guys!" She said into the microphone.

She looked to her left knowing Adam would be there, smiling just as she was. He loved the energy of performing, too.

The crowd in front of them was vast and circled around them in a half moon shape. All of the arenas start to blur together after a while and she couldn't remember where the VIP section of this one resided. Factor in the bright stage lights and her chances of pin-pointing Eli were slim.

Nonetheless, she was desperate to find him. He must have figured it out by now, but she knew her attempts would be in vain. He was one face in a sea of twenty thousand, all staring up at her.

The cheering was subsiding so Clare slowly started to back up, microphone raised to her lips and introduced the first song-one of her favourites.

"Well, good evening. I'm Chloe Diana, these here are my good friends and we're going to play you a song called _'Fifteen*.'_"

_'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you  
You're gonna believe them  
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out  
Well, count to ten, take it in  
__This is life before you know who you're gonna be  
Fifteen_

Opening with Fifteen always helps Clare get comfortable on a stage. The crowd always sings along and by the end her heart is racing like something wonderful.

She smiles as the song ends and now has full command of the stage.

"We like to start off slow, with the boy who wasn't the best and then we really get things goin' when we start talking about revenge." Clare said with a wicked smile on her face.

Immediately the crowd knows the song she means and they scream their hearts out as Adam plays the opening riffs to '_Before He Cheats*.'_

Clare lets the nature of the song and the memories of what she and the guys did to K.C.'s truck fuel her energy through the song and she plays her part flawlessly; dancing around the stage, every bit the take-no-prisoners vixen the song makes her out to be.

As always, Clare has a ton of fun with the song and extra energy afterwards, so she decides to chat with the crowd to let her heart rate slow down.

"Here's a little known fact for you, the boys and I were all born and raised here in Toronto." Clare said.

The crowd erupts into a great cheer again. It really was a well kept secret, as even Wikipedia claimed that Chloe Diana and her three band members were all New York natives.

"Obviously then, I have a serious soft spot for Toronto. I feel so at home right now."

Cheering, cheering, cheering. _Oh, I'm a hometown hero!_ Clare thinks.

"Let me tell you all, this is the best city in the world. I've seen plenty and the food is not as delicious, the buildings are not as pretty and the boys are not as attractive anywhere else!" She shouts gleefully.

The crowd laughs and cheers and she even catch a few proposals from men in the audience.

Deciding to toe the line just slightly, Clare says, "Do any of you here go to Degrassi High School?"

A smaller cheer erupts, letting Clare know that somewhere in the upper deck to the left a lot of Degrassi students reside. She couldn't help the sweet spot she had for her former high school, and she couldn't resist carrying on.

She giggles into the microphone and says, "I never went there but Degrassi always had the sweetest boys."

The smile in her voice due to the fact that Eli is a current student at Degrassi, while Adam, Jake and Drew are all former students.

With a wicked smile on her face, that's almost flirty, Clare says, "Gosh, this is dangerous. There is something about being home that just gets me talking. I'm going to let some major secrets slip if I'm not careful."

The crowd roared with a great cheer again, trying to egg her on. Adam and Clare have great stage chemistry, so he can step in with ease.

"Uh-Oh, you know too many of my secrets for me to like the sound of that." He says.

Clare looks from the crowd to Adam and back again, with a smirk growing on her face.

"Speaking of Adam's secrets, folks. Here's one for you now."

She stops to smile at Adam and his answering smile says he trusts her to carry on without embarrassing him too badly.

Clare was happy to have something to ramble on about while the sound techs queued up for the next song. If she didn't, she's sure the thought of Eli's gaze would have turned her into a puddle on the floor.

"Adam and, our bassist, Drew, are brothers, right? Beautiful boys, those Torres' and they're both single, ladies!" She pauses for the crowd to erupt in girlish screams, as expected, and carries on once they die down.

"Anyways, each and every time we reach a new city, they call their Mom to let her know they've made it safely. It is just the sweetest thing, let me tell you." The crowd lets out a big, "Aww" on cue.

Adam leans into his microphone and in a very cute, put on innocent voice says, "You know, she worries! She just likes to know we're okay."

Clare carries on with the story, genuinely interested in letting the crowd now how sweet the Torres' are. She worries sometimes that they don't get enough recognition.

"When we went to Paris for the first time, they told her that they would bring her back the next time we went, because she just had to see it. Good heavens, I almost burst into tears it was so adorable!" Clare says with sincerity.

Drew hardly plays to the crowd, much favouring the brooding bassist thing, but he chimes in to say, "I'm not embarrassed about being a momma's boy, Chlo! She's a great woman!"

Obviously the crowd loves this kind of friendly interaction. It makes them feel like they're getting a real inside view of what life with the band is like.

A technician tells Clare then, via earpiece, that everything is set for the next handful of songs, all hits from her most recent album, and they fly through them perfectly.

* * *

When it's time for another short break, Clare leans onto a speaker and, in her girliest voice, says, "Do you guys want to hear more secrets?!"

The crowd loves Clare's charming stage presence and her easy laughter makes her even more inviting. The concert felt so informal, more like spending a day with twenty thousand of your closest friends.

She pretends to tap her chin in deep thought before exclaiming, "Oh! I've got one!"

"Not so fast, Miss Chloe Diana. You talked about my sweet mother, so now we're sharing your secrets before you make another peep." Adam says from behind her.

Clare giggles and lets out a big joking sigh.

"Fine, fine. Do your worst. If you're going to tell anyone, I'm happy it's Toronto."

The crowd cheered again and Clare pointed a finger at them, warningly.

"But no telling anyone! Promise?"

The people reacted enthusiastically, urging Adam to carry on.

"Well Toronto, you will all be happy to know that Chloe-"

"Now, now, Adam, we're gentlemen. We cannot spill a lady's secrets!" Drew chided in, right on cue.

Drew's interruption inspired genuine laughter in Clare and real disappointment in the crowd.

_Gosh, if they only knew! _Clare thought.

His statement also allowed her to segway nicely into the part of the evening that had her stomach in knots.

"Oh my, I'm a lucky girl to get to work with such charming men." Clare smiled affectionately from Adam to Drew before looking back to the crowd.

She began a slow walk from her spot on the right side of the stage, near Drew, to where Adam stood on the left side-talking all the while.

"I'm sure you can all tell from my songs that I haven't had great luck with love in the past. Aside from these big goofs here that follow me around the world," She said as she gestured to Adam, Drew and Jake, "I just can't seem to find the right man."

Having made it to Adam she looked at the crowd straight on, with one hand on her hip, letting her eyes scan the whole place slowly.

"However, I think that maybe, just maybe, I might have found a really good one. A nice green-eyed fella."

The crowd erupted once more in a great big cheer and Clare's heart went out to each and every one of the people in the stadium; these people that loved her and wanted her to be happy, despite being complete strangers to her.

As they cheered, Adam switched over to an acoustic guitar, and a stage hand brought out two wooden stools for them. The cheers quieted and Clare sat down on the stool next to Adam's.

Once the lights dimmed to a single spotlight on the pair at centre stage, Clare spoke softly into the microphone.

"This song is brand new. I wrote it just a few days ago and it's called _'Eli.'"_

The song had been written over the course of Wednesday and Thursday, with Adam's assistance.

As she drifted off to sleep Tuesday night, Clare came to realize that no matter how beautiful she looked on Friday, what it would really come down to was what she said to Eli; how she explained herself and her feelings. After all, she really only had the one chance for his heart.

So she wrote out how she was feeling in the best way she knew, a song. It was the most honest thing she had ever written and she blushed thinking about singing it for tens of thousands of people, but if it meant anything to Eli, it would be worth it for her.

In the song she called Eli perfect, apologized for not being truthful and said that she loved him.

This, she hoped, would be enough for him to realize that Chloe Diana and Clare Edwards really are the same person. One exists within the other; it even says so on her birth certificate.

As the song came to an end the whole crowd rose to their feet and applauded louder than they had all evening. Their support brought tears to Clare's eyes and she had the sad thought that even if Eli chose to give up on her, these people never would.

Quietly, Adam congratulated her as they both rose from their stools and headed back to their usual spots on stage.

"I hate to say it, Toronto, but our time together is coming to an end. Adam and Drew's mom is expecting us all this evening."

The crowd lets out a big 'aww' and Clare launches into her very last message for Eli.

"This last song we do is going to be a cover of one of my favourite John Mayer songs. This is called, _'Only Heart.'"_

_Remember now you...  
You've got my only heart  
Yeah, you got my only heart  
Yeah, you've got my only__  
Only heart_

Eli had told Clare once of his great love for John Mayer and this one seemed most fitting.

As she walked off the stage to huge applause that evening, she felt a strong sense of closure. As far as Clare is concerned, she did everything in her power to send Eli the right message. The ball is in his court now.

* * *

*Fifteen by Taylor Swift. I do not own the song.

*Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood. I do own this song, either.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Degrassi.**

At the bottom of the stairs, Clare is engulfed in a bear hug from Alli.

"You were amazing up there, Clare." She says with genuine pride in her voice. As she releases Clare from the hug she adds, "and you looked so hot!"

Adam hands Clare water bottle and puts an arm around her shoulders, walking her towards the area of the backstage where their dressing rooms reside.

"She's right, Clarebear. That was the best performance I have ever seen you give. You killed it with the new song, too!"

At the end of a white hallway there are two navy blue doors, on opposite walls. One says, "Chloe Diana" and the other, "Adam Torres, Drew Torres, Jake Martin."

Clare turns into hers, with Alli trailing behind.

As soon as the door clicks shut both girls erupt into shouts.

"SO DID YOU SEE HIM OUT THERE?"  
"HAS HE BEEN BACK HERE YET?"  
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY WHEN YOU SEE HIM?"  
"SHOULD I CHANGE OR DO I LOOK OKAY?"

The shouting ceases altogether, as quickly as it started and the two break into a fit of laughter.

Alli flops down on the leather couch in Clare's dressing room, while Clare opts for a black stool.

"No, I couldn't figure out where the VIP section was." Clare answers first.

"He hasn't been around back here. Not that I noticed, at least." Alli replies.

"I have no idea what to say to him. I said a lot onstage. I'm sort of hoping he'll have something to say."

"You look stunning, Clare. Don't change out of that dress or I will hurt you."

Clare picks up her iPhone from the make-up table and notices a number of texts from Eli.

With shaky hands she unlocks her phone to get a better look at them.

**7:48 ELI:**  
"Hey! We just got here. The seats are fantastic. Are you around?"

**8:21 ELI:**  
"Clare? Doesn't the show start at 8:45? I hope you're here somewhere!"

**8:45 ELI:**  
"CLARE, THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO START AND I'M SO EXCITED."

**8:47 ELI:**  
"Oh my God."

**9:53 ELI:**  
"Jesus, Clare."

By the time Clare reads the final text her heart has fallen from the height of a skyscraper to lower than low. 9:53 would have been around the time she and Adam were singing, "Eli" and she just wishes that his texts showed some emotion, one way or the other. At least then she would know what's coming for her when Randall lets Eli and Fiona backstage.

Clare shows the texts to Alli whose eyes immediately take on a sympathetic glaze.

"Oh God, don't look at me like that." Clare says.

Alli's eyes confirm what she was trying to repress. He doesn't love her, he doesn't want to be a part of this double life side show and she has likely ruined her friendship with him.

Clare can feel her emotions starting to boil up within her and knows that what she needs more than anything is fresh air. _Get to an exit, Clare._ She thinks.

As she opens her dressing room door, ready to bolt, she comes face to face with Eli, his closed fist suspended in midair.

* * *

The unexpected sight of Eli just as Clare was on the cusp of a panic attack is too much. Her eyes immediately well with tears and she stumbles back into the room, falling back onto her stool, clutching her chest.

Alli is the first to react, up from the couch in seconds. She snatches Clare's water from the make-up counter and is by her side before Eli can even lower his arm.

"Do not faint, Clare. You're fine. Please, drink water. It's okay." Alli says soothingly.

Since Clare has started touring her fainting spells are more common and as a result, Alli is a veteran in panic attacks.

Eli enters the dressing room, feeling out of place, but his concern for Clare stirs him into action. He is at her side in an instant.

"Anything I can do to help?" He asks Alli.

Alli is holding Clare's upper body, letting Clare lean against her chest, as she drinks water looking quite dazed.

Alli looks at Eli contemplatively and after a moment says, "Can you hold her for a minute? I have to get Adam."

Eli steps closer to Alli, onto Clare's other side, and slips his arms over hers. When she backs away, Clare falls into his arms, leaning on his chest.

Alli takes a few hesitant steps toward the door, watching Eli with weary eyes as she goes.

She meets his eye and says, "Don't hurt her, Goldsworthy." The double meaning fully intended.

* * *

Alli rushes back into the room moments later with Adam on her heels. Clare has finished the water bottle and her head is lolled to the side, resting on Eli's arm. She is conscious but completely unaware.

Alli recognizes it to be a state of shock. This happens to Clare any time she gets extremely overwhelmed by something, and she feels like she can't handle it.

Alli reclaims her spot behind Clare, leaving Eli to standby helplessly. Adam crouches down in front of Clare, resting one hand on her knee and lifting her chin with the other; trying to force her to look him in the eyes.

"Hey, Clarebear. Come on back. You're okay. I'm here, Alli's here and I bet your Dad's around, too. You're fine, babe." He says, softly.

Clare's eyes start to lose their glazed over look and they zero in on Adam's after a moment or two.

He breaks out into a full smile and reaches up to ruffle her hair.

"There's my girl! You okay?" He asks.

Clare nods slowly at him and sits herself up.

"Sorry about that one, guys. It caught me off guard." She says.

She sweeps her eyes from Adam, around the room with the intention of finding Alli's eyes but lands on Eli in between the two. He is staring at her, but looks down at his feet when she tries to meet his glance.

There is also a tall, pretty brunette standing in the doorway. She is smiling from ear to ear and is more than happy to meet Clare's eyes.

Clare smiles back at her and the girl takes it as an invitation to declare herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm Fiona!" She says. "I hope you're feeling alright. The show tonight was unbelievable."

_Oh right, Eli brought her. _Clare thinks.

However uncertain she is of her relationship with Eli, Clare cannot turn away from a fan. She smiles as brightly as possible at Fiona and says, "Oh, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm fine. This happens all the time. It's nice to meet you, though. I'm Clare."

Clare stands, with the intent of shaking Fiona's hand and wobbles when she first hits her feet. Eli, Alli and Adam simultaneously reach out to steady her but she manages to find even ground all on her own.

Pleased with herself, Clare crosses the dressing room to Fiona and shakes her hand.

"Thank you so much for coming." Clare says.

"Oh no, thank you for the tickets!" Fiona says, equally joyfully.

Clare decides that she likes Fiona. However, she does have certain matters to straighten out. Namely tall, dark haired, green-eyed matters.

Clare turns around to face Alli and Adam, who are both eyeing her with concern.

"I'm fine, you two. Really. I'll drink another water and have Calvin take me outside in a few minutes. Thank you for worrying." Clare says with a smile.

Adam looks convinced and moves toward the door.

"I'll feel better if you take those monster heels off." He says from the doorway.

She slips her left foot and then her right out of the Louboutins and stands barefoot on the concrete floor. One more smile at Adam and he heads off back to his own dressing room, appeased.

Alli understands Clare's desire for a moment alone with Eli and begins to follow Adam.

"You know where I'll be if you need me!" She calls over her shoulder.

Of course, Clare knows Alli will be with Drew, but if Clare did ever need her she would be there at the drop of a hat.

Clare now turns to face Eli who is staring at her intensely, green eyes cloudly, from a few feet away.

"Eli, I'm going to go to August 8*. Just text me." Fiona says, as she cheerfully turns on her heel and exits, closing the door behind her.

Clare realizes that this is the first time she's ever really seeing Eli. She lets her gaze fall from his and takes in his black v-neck, his black skinny jeans and his black sneakers. She also takes notice of his pale skin and his beautiful dark black waves before she is drawn back into his green eyes.

"Please say something. Anything, Eli." Clare pleads.

She can't handle the intensity of his gaze and the uncertainty of his feelings. It's unfair that he now knows everything about her yet he can still hold back secrets.

Eli's face doesn't change and Clare's knees nearly buckle. Her heart is heavy and it sinks even further down into her body.

"Please, Eli. Say something."

Eli's eyes finally leave hers to trail up and down her body.

"God, you're beautiful." Eli says.

Clare lets out a sort of relieved sob she had been holding in. It wasn't the statement she really wanted to hear but she would take it over, "I don't love you" any day.

Desperate to keep him talking, Clare asks the first thing that pops into her mind.

"Did you enjoy the concert?"

Eli lets out a small laugh and Clare can see his shoulders visibly relax.

"That's what you want to know right now? Yes, it was a wonderful show. You were fantastic."

Though he isn't the first person to say that tonight's show was great, it seems to mean more coming from him. Clare's heart soars and she can't help but feel pleased that he thinks she's fantastic.

Clare smiles at Eli but he doesn't return it. His face is sad.

"Please, tell me what you're thinking." Clare whispers; the fear in her voice very plain to hear.

Eli takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his dark locks, making Clare aware of how badly she wants to run her own hands through them.

"Well, you see, my Dad has this childhood best friend whose daughter I think I'm in love with. I was supposed to meet her tonight but it turns out she was occupied being one of my favourite singers this evening. Tonight, that girl she sang this incredible new song where she said she loves me. Out of the entire world of guys who fawn over her, she wants me. But, I can't date this girl. The first girl that I talk to online all the time has an amazing personality-she's hilarious, so smart and, god, she even reads Palahniuk! I never told her how I felt because she's too good for me. And tonight, I found out that she's also this stunning, famous singer who I adore. So now she is not only out of my league, we're not even playing the same sport for heaven's sake. I'm so upset because...I love her, this girl that I've just met tonight, with my whole heart and I can't have her. I don't deserve her, I can't possibly hold onto her...I'm only going to end up hurt, and the worst part is that all I want to do right now is kiss her."

By the time Eli finished speaking Clare had tears streaming down her face.

"Kiss me, Eli." She whispered.

Eli Goldsworthy is not a man that needs to be asked twice.

* * *

***August 8 is a sushi restaurant in Toronto.**

**THOUGHTS? Thank you for all of the kind reviews so far. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint!**

**TBC. **


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